I hate my mother so much, suicide thoughts?

I can understand not wanting to call the authorities. but you need to. I don't personally understand all what you have been through. but it needs to be done, but you need to get out of there. fast. one question how do you ask a question like this if you internet is monitored? that doesn't matter though. call the authorities and do it fast. It will get better. Look to God he is watching and waiting. May God be with you.