What do u think of my life situation?

wel im 17 and i recently came out too my fam as bein bi and my dad just got out of jail so i moved in with him and wel after i came out to my family i felt really guilty and i felt like i wud have to earn my trust back by like bein good and not actin out but occasionaly i will get drunk and remind my dad of how he hurt my life and made my life hell but hes been doin alot beter and i feel guilty for like putin him down and once i would start gettin some trust back id screw it up and feel like id hav to start all over again getin my trust back im just so confused and i feel like im goin to make mistakes and im goin to do bad stuff at this age but i have problems too and i dont want him to give up on me like i never gave up on him when he was dealin wit his problems and he sometimes looks at me with like disguist or like his ashamed of me and i try too do real good and be nice but i feel like its not getin me anywhereif i keep screwin it all up by doing and sayin stupid crap so any cmnts?